Today in 1889

23 Sep

Nintendo is founded by Fusajiro Yamauchi to produce and market a playing card game, after which it tries several small niche businesses including a cab service and a love hotel before becoming a video game company. In case you were wondering, a love hotel is exactly what it sounds like.

Mario is definitely exploring Peach's Castle tonight.

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Today in 1598

22 Sep

Ben Jonson is indicted for manslaughter after killing actor Gabriel Spenser in a duel. A freestyle rap duel. Jonson’s rhymes are so sick that anyone who hears them dies. That’s why his plays are never performed anymore.

That, and there's an e at the end of almost every word.

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Today in 1891

20 Sep

The first gasoline-powered car debuts in Springfield, Massachusetts, United States. No more 20,000-packs of AA batteries for this nation!

Now we can put them back where they belong.

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Today in 1952

19 Sep

The United States bars Charlie Chaplin from re-entering the country after a trip to England because of suspected leftist political leanings. Look pal, I don’t care how you silent movie Commies talk the rest of the year, but when United States citizens return home on September 19th, they’re coming back to AmARRRRRRica.

Happy Talk Like a Pirate Day, Charrrrlie.

Today in 1885

18 Sep

Riots break out in Montreal to protest against compulsory smallpox vaccination. It’s the original pro-choice versus pro-life.

Save someone else's life, Dr. Nazi.

“Today” in 1976

17 Sep

Shavarsh Karapetyan saves 20 people from drowning by kicking out the back window of a a trolley bus that had fallen into Erevan reservoir in zero visibility conditions, for which a main belt asteroid is named after him. If I’d known it was that easy to have an asteroid named after me, maybe I’d have saved those kids.


SIDE NOTE ABOUT READING: I misread my notes and “today’s” fact occurred yesterday, whereas “yesterday’s fact” (coincidentally enough) occurred today. I’m going to blame my fault on the economy and call it a day.

Today in 1787

16 Sep

The United States Constitution is signed in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. John Hancock tries to get in on it, but they’re over his diva attitude.

Somebody's compensating.